piss flavored beer

from by Odd Jobs

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maybe it’s the piss flavored beer,
or maybe it’s the fact that you’re here.
maybe i have a tendency to fuck everything up
but right now i just want to throw up.

my therapist says i tend to self destruct.
i said that probably explains the past few months.
but standing in that crowd and seeing you,
it made me hate myself more than i normally do.

popping johnnies all night, like they’re candy pieces.
i can’t look in your eyes, ‘cause i know that’s where my soul is.

and if you want to maybe go outside and let me
apologize for being so damn shitty.
i know i’m drunk, but so are you. who really cares?
why don’t we go out for some fresh air.

i’ll just piss out the drugs and booze tomorrow morning,
if i don’t throw up most of them tonight.
or maybe i’ll leave the party without warning—
chain smoke till i die or feel alright.

honestly the past is so surreal.
some days i can’t believe we were together.
i catch myself listening to your old voicemails,
“hello, babe, i love you.”

and maybe in some universe you miss me,
and all the hatred that you harbor never was.
but i know that in reality we’ll never
feel the same connection we used to call love.


from bebop, released April 25, 2017



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